Yesterday, I was outside taking my pictures, when I was attacked by this squirrel:
That’s right, that little beady-eyed, venom-fanged menace tried to kill me.
He snuck up on me along the retaining wall, and when I screamed and ran away, he rushed me:
|If you look closely, you can see the shank he has hidden in his tail.|
Witnesses believe I was targeted because the squirrel didn’t like my outfit:
I think that’s ridiculous because my outfit was awesome, but maybe he didn’t like the combination of burgundy cords (Banana Republic, here), lemon yellow sweater (Gap, here) and cherry red belt (Macys, similar here). Or maybe he hates houndstooth (Old Navy via Goodwill, similar here).
Whatever the reason for the attack, I think we can all agree that the squirrel is a menace to society and needs to be stopped.
So, please take a good look at that horrifying face of evil, and if you see that razor-clawed ninja squirrel, please perform a citizen’s arrest. We must keep the world safe for the children. But, be careful. He’s both fluffy and dangerous.
Happy Thursday, All!
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