Friday, May 20, 2011

FBFF for May 20th: Haters Gonna Hate

According to Katy of Modly Chic, this week’s FBFF topic “was inspired by a post by Beautifully Invisible from a couple weeks ago entitled ‘The 10 things that drive me crazy about your blog.’”  To that end, we were challenged with listing five things that drive us crazy about the blogs we visit.

I have to tell you, Dearest Readers, that I struggled with this subject.  A lot.  I even considered not doing an FBFF post at all this week because I actually find this topic to be vaguely offensive; albeit in a way I’m not sure I can articulate.  However, I’ll give it my best shot.

I find writing about how someone’s blog irritates you to be akin to commenting that you don’t like someone’s style or blog or face.  It’s rude.  If you don’t like it, you don’t have to visit and it’s as simple as that.  Saying you won’t visit/follow someone’s blog because they don’t have a Twitter account seems ridiculous to me.  I do understand some of the pet peeves – music playing automatically, for example, can be disruptive.  But other issues people have with someone else’s blog seem to be so very subjective.  Just because you offer 17 different ways to share a post doesn’t mean you can reasonably expect that of another blogger.

If it's your goal to make it easy to share a post, that's wonderful.  But you can't expect that to be a goal of every blogger.  We all blog for different reasons.  Not everyone who blogs is looking to be a BLOGGER.  Some of us just want to be bloggers, meandering along in our own small corner of the blogosphere, not worrying about becoming Modcloth’s Blogger of the Moment.  We don’t all set out to rule the Web and our goals for our blogs may not include thousands of followers or our every post being Tweeted and re-Tweeted across the globe.

My blog is personal.  I started my blog for myself and not for anybody else.  I love my readers and think you all make blogging that much better, but if my sister was my only follower (I think her following is mandatory), I'd still blog.  Therefore, I created my blog in a way that I'm comfortable with and that reflects my personality.  In truth, I’m not especially technologically savvy, I'm a terrible photographer (as you may have noticed)  and I'm not a fan of social media.   I’m comfortable with those truths and I’m comfortable with my blog reflecting those truths. 

I would like people to enjoy visiting my blog not because I make it easy to Tweet about a post, but because what I write or wear is interesting to them.  Or because they like my smile.  Or my sense of humor.  And if it’s not interesting, or funny, or you find my lack of a Twitter name (handle?) irritating, I’m okay if you don’t read it.

I know it seems counterintuitive to say that blogs are personal when everyone and their mom can read them, but I view my blog as something personal that is produced for public consumption.  And even though the public is the consumer I’m not convinced that means the public should have a say.  Like art, you can hate it and you can even say that you hate it but you shouldn't expect that the artist will stop creating or begin creating in a way that is more pleasing to you and your particular sensibilities.  So, why waste your breath hating?

If you, or your mom, would like to read some less rant-y, probably better-written posts about this week's topic, please do stop by Modly Chic for a list of participants.



  1. I also struggled with this one. I started a post earlier in the week, but I only could think of two peeves, and I didn't want to offend people, so I decided just to skip it. I have read at least one other post like yours choosing not to list pet peeves--seems like this week's topic made quite a few people uncomfortable.

  2. Beautifully written, Gracey. Your kindness and goodheartedness really shine through in your posts. :)

  3. I'm all for not spreading the negative. Keep sharing the love instead!

  4. Well the thing that drives me nuts about other people's blogs is when they try to tell other people how to blog. Good grief. What on earth does twitter have to do with how awesome a blog is? I just got a twitter for my blog and love it, but I would NEVER tell someone I don't like their blog just because they don't use twitter.

    And while I find auto-play music completely annoying as well, once again, I wouldn't go so far as to say I didn't like someone's blog just because of it. Just turn your computer on mute (especially if you're at work...).

    And it takes a fair amount of knowledge to figure out how to set up all the sharing buttons and whatnot... why condemn someone for not being 100% up to date on all their HTML? I don't even have that stuff all figured out yet.

    Sorry, I'm not as angry as I sound or anything, I just found the post to be rather holier-than-thou. I agree with your sentiments exactly.

  5. Just chiming in to say that I stumbled on your blog a little while ago and am now an avid follower...all due to your humor and fun personality! I follow a lot of style blogs and I don't get turned off by some of the things you mentioned, but your blog is definitely refreshing in a lot of ways. Your humor and the high quality of the written part of your posts really shine against the less techie background.

  6. LOL.. yeah, I didnt post this week either.. there are enough comments on other peoples blogs that I might agree with, and thats just my personal opinion.. most importantly I visit the people I connect with, its not even so much about the outfits. I appreciate your honesty on this post!!
    have a great weekend!!
    xox J

  7. Well stated!

    There were a few I read that started making me feel quite uneasy about acceptance in the blogging culture. While there are certain guidelines I'd be happy to offer if solicited for advice, I don't believe we should people responsible for our annoyances, and it certainly isn't important enough to rant about in list-fashion.

    A few of my favorite blogs do plenty of things "wrong", yet I keep going back, while there are a few blogs that are "perfect" that drive me crazy for reasons I can't define and I never read them.

  8. Very well written, Gracey! I opted out of this week's FBFF due to the misinterpretations that could occur. Of course, I have my preferences and turn-offs (we all do), but like you said quite elegantly, if you don't like a blog, don't visit it. It's as simple as that.

  9. Gracey, you are absolutely right. When I read posts about how I should blog, I feel so inadequate - which I really shouldn't, it's my blog after all, I do what is comfortable for me. So if the other day it came through I was advertising Bloglovin to you - sorry, I was just apologising (rather too elaborately) for not visiting your blog often enough. :)

  10. yeah....i mean i don't want to offend anyone, but - if we all follow 'best practices', then everything'll start getting all super homogenized, right? i'm a variety is the spice of life gal. and i'm doing it for a hobby. but i think a lot of people do want to 'be my best at everything i do!', so it's pry interesting to them. steph

  11. Interesting. I wouldn't say I am a hater - far from it in fact. Yet my original post is the one that inspired this week's topic.

    Although I understand your perspective and was happy to read the reasoning behind it, I have to say that I - respectfully - disagree.

    I've mentioned this on a couple of other blogs as well, but I really think the point of this week's FBFF has somehow gotten lost in translation.

    This isn't about hating. It's about educating those that ARE interested in improving their blogs. Sure, not everyone wants to do that, but you might be surprised at the number of people who DO. Constructive criticism is something that benefits us all. We are all constantly learning and improving ourselves in the "real world" - so why should our blogs be any different?

    A few people have commented on the fact that they blog for themselves and no one else. That they don't aspire to be professional bloggers. That their blogs are their creative outlets. I have no problems with any of that. I used to be one of those people and in some ways I still am.

    However, the fact of the matter is, if you have followers you are no longer JUST blogging for yourself. You have people who respect you and what you have to say. This week's topic is about making that experience more pleasant for everyone involved. It's about educating people who WANT to do that for their readers. No one has to take the advice offered, but it's there if someone is looking for it.

    Again, I do respect your opinion and am happy you shared it, but I also felt I had to air the other perspective as well.

  12. Aw, Gracey, I think your post is the antidote to mine! If your awesomeness hadn't already been apparent, it certainly is after this post. My feedback was aimed at bloggers who I assumed want readership but you're right, ultimately, if people blog for themselves primarily then it's a moot point. I would never want to deliberately make anyone feel bad and kept my list relatively short.
    You rock!
    xo, f

    The House in the Clouds

  13. You pretty much nailed down why I skipped this week's FBFF. If I like you, I read you, and you can safely assume your blog and style is A-OK with me.

  14. I love what you wrote here..I completely agree with you about the personal aspect of a blog!


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