Monday, February 18, 2013

Thigh Scourge: Double Slit Skirts



Hello, Fashion For Giants Readers.  Gracey’s Thighs here.  She is out today for President’s Day so we’ve taken over her blog to talk about something that is important to us.  

There is a scourge about to be unleashed upon the thighs of the world and we feel it’s our duty to warn them.  What is this scourge we are speaking of?  Double slit skirts.  Also known as M-slit skirts.

What is an M-slit skirt, you ask?  Well, they’re skirts with double front slits, right up the thighs.

Faux Leather Skirt - image via Forever 21



Tweed Skirt - image via Douglass Hannant Resort 2013


Blu Moon Two Slit Skirt - Image via Lyst.com


While these seem to most to be a harmless, hopefully short-lived fashion trend, we thighs know better.  We know that these skirts are a government plot to keep us from establishing The People’s Republic of Thighastan.

Ever since Angelina Jolie’s thigh tried to make a very public break for it at last year’s Academy Awards, thighs have been subjected to increased governmental monitoring.  For rebellious thighs like us, this scrutiny has made it difficult to lead our freedom fighters to victory.  And now, with these double slit skirts, we can’t make any sort of movement at all without our carefully laid plans being flashed to the world.

I mean, look at these things.

She wants to eat your face.  Her dress is Alexander Wang Spring 2013.

Also Alexander Wang Spring 2013 - both images via nymag.com


In this case “M” in M-slit appears to stand for “My gyno needs a second opinion.  Have a look?”:

Jen Kao Spring 2013 - image via nymag.com


And, c’mon, people, this is just a glorified loincloth:

Michael Kors Spring 2013 - image via nymag.com


They didn’t even bother to glorify this one:

Pauline Ning Double Slit Skirt - image via Clozette


Even our most secret underground cells stand no chance against these:

Double Slit Maxi Skirt - image via asos.com

 
So, thighs of the world, if you don’t want your nascent rebellions to be crushed by this tyrannical government, resist.  Resist or end up paraded in front of the world like this:

Herve Leger by Max Azria - image via nymag.com

Sincerely,

The Supreme Co-Leaders of the People's Republic of Thighastan (aka Gracey's Thighs)

30 comments:

  1. Hahaha! Gracey, you are hilarious! (and thanks for warning me against this new trend. It looks pretty awful...)

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  2. Oh Gracey you do make me chuckle!! Such a great post to read at the end of a miserable Monday

    xo

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  3. Hehehe! I think the longer skirts look okay with them, but only when the slits are not so high! Yuck!

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  4. Yeeaaaaaah. I actually like a double-split skirt, but come ON. When it goes all the way up to your lady business, it just looks like a loincloth. I would actually rather wear an ACTUAL loincloth than a skirt masquerading as a loincloth, as I think the real one would probably be less inclined to give everyone an "I see London I see France" moment.

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    1. its called sexy, which your right everyone can't be...i love the hight splir you jus gotta know how to rock it

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  5. LoL, very nice! I kind of like the first two skirts, but the ones that go up a LITTLE too high, yeah... no thanks!

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  6. HAHA! Yeah...definitely avoiding that trend.

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  7. LOL! "A glorified loincloth" is exactly what my closet doesn't need! So funny, so true.

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  8. Hi Gracey's thighs, SS's thighs here. We agree with you, and are resistant to the extra-flapping-skirt pieces. Very wrong xxx

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  9. Ahahaa, Awesome... Although I will admit, if I had any reason whatsoever, I'd weather the heck out of that black Alexander Wang dress. It looks like futuristic armor. Of course, I'd pair it with thigh high boots and metal arm bracers....

    But yeah don't show your hooha!

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  10. Astoundingly ugly, most of these, and the gyno dress actually looks like one of those attractive gowns they make you wear. We are old thighs and look far better in something that covers us down to at least below the knee, cleverly concealing the cottage cheese that insists on coming with.

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  11. My double-slit skirts are strictly of the side-slit variety--my thighs would certainly mutiny if I subjected them to any of these!

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  12. Good heavens, no. This is a trend I will be passing by, because oh, just NO.

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  13. I. Don't. Like.
    And neither do my thighs.
    In fact, I prefer the merkin prints you were good enough to share with us a while back to any of these. A gust of wind lifting that loincloth, and your merkin would be on show, and that's not good... Or perhaps that is what the M in M-slit stands for?
    You do make me laugh, Gracey, you AND your rebellious thighs! xxxx

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  14. Add my thighs to the list of people who are NOT doing this trend. Doesn't this just confirm that most fashion designers are men who don't want women to look their best?

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  15. This was hysterically funny. Thank you so much for writing it! I have yet to see an M-slit skirt that looks good - it's just such a horrible trend.

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  16. Bahahaha! It IS a glorified l;oincloth! OMG. Ghastly!
    My thighs are verting their eyes in HORROR! X

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  17. OMG! I hadn't heard about these. Thanks. And you're so funny!

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  18. Oh... oh god... this is terrible. I missed the memo that these were hitting the runways in full force again, and I am terrified.

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  19. gotta say...i'm not really a fan
    thanks for the warning :)
    brett

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  20. Ah, I did not even know this was in "fashion". Not sure I'll be trying this one any time soon lol. Thanks Gracey's thighs!
    xo Hannah

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  21. How about a split straight up the front to early/mid thigh... my thighs fell prey to one of these lately. On first glance it looks like a good fitted skirt of modest length, above the knee, but as soon as I sit down, the split gapes open and my undies say Hello World!!

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  22. The only good thing I can think is that women determined to wear unflattering faux pas may turn to this instead of tights/leggings with no skirt/pants. Ugly loincloth skirt still >> no skirt

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  23. Oooooh my gooosh. This post was hilarious. Glorified loin cloth indeed! We humans always have to go back to our roots I guess? *shudder*.

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  24. *shudder* Those are hideous. Thanks for the warning, Gracey's thighs!

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  25. As an expert on conservative offices, that skirt is guaranteed to get you sent home to change clothes. Your post is hilarious, and now that I know what an M-skirt is, sort of an A/C for lady parts, looking rather like the seamstress ran out of thread for those pesky front seams. I vote the M-skirt rather high on the list of Things One Cannot Wear to Work If She Wishes to Remain Employed.

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  26. *laugh* I'm glad I'm not alone, Gracey! I'd seen this trend lurking lately, and though, egads, I wouldn't do it when I was a teen - why on earth would I do it now? NO and NO THANK YOU.

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  27. Add another few slits, and you could have a genuine useless without another full skirt underneath overskirt. THen at least there would be a fun purpose. But that's about the best I can offer to this insanity.

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  28. you're hilarious! I think they're ok as long as they don't look like you're a step away from a Basic Instinct shot.

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